Columnist - John Sammon
“That isn’t the Scott McClellan I knew. Is that the Scott McClellan you knew?”
“No! The Scott McClellan I knew could tell a lie we told him and then keep a lie a lie.”
“What are we gonna do?”
George Bush is holding a meeting with his inner circle, Vice President Dick Cheney, right wing philosopher-idealog Karl Rove, Rove’s buddy Scooter, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, a few sycophants, and former secretary of defense Donald Rumsfeld. Rumsfeld is there because he hopes to get his old job back.
“Is there any way we can….you know…..screw him (McClellan)?” Bush asks.
“Didn’t Nixon ask the same things about Dick Cavett (talk show host)?” Scooter asks.
“I don’t know. Ask Dick (Cheney). You were there weren’t you? Watergate?”
“I don’t remember,” Cheney says.
“Can we screw him (McClellan)?”
“We’re trying. It’s not easy,” Rove says.
“Maybe we can get him to go hunting with Dick (Cheney),” Scooter teases.
“Fu.’k you,” Cheney says. “I kept you out of jail. You just remember that.”
“But if we can make it implausible, then it’s implacably deniable, isn’t it?” Bush asks.
Rice interjects. “It has to be taken in the context of……”
“Shut up Farina!” Bush tells Rice (Farina, the black kid in the 1930s Little Rascals comedies, is Bush’s pet name for Rice). “When I want your opinion I’ll give it to ya.’ Go get me some coffee.”
Rice hurries off.
“Hey, remember when you slapped that German president (Chancellor Angela Merkel) on the back and told her, ‘yo, hey babe?’”
“Don’t change the subject,” Bush tells Scooter. “Remember, we got you out of jail.”
“Maybe we could try the (Rudolph) Hess thing,” Cheney says.
“What’s that?”
“Remember when Hess flew to England and embarrassed Hitler? Hitler said Hess was crazy.”
“No, it’s been done. We need something new.”
“But McClellan flipped out. Why?”
“Maybe I didn’t give him enough vacation time on my ranch,” Bush says. “It doesn’t matter. I’m gonna fu.’k him. We can control the truth here. We did it in Iraq.”
“He (McClellan) said the war was unnecessary,” Cheney adds.
“I know he did,” Bush snorts. “It became necessary when I said it was necessary.”
“But what about deniability?” Rove asks.
“You can’t deny that,” Bush says.
“Oh yes you can,” Rumsfeld interrupts.
“Who asked you?” Bush snarls. “You’re out of work. If you hadn’t fu’ked everything up, we wouldn’t be in this mess. I want the ability to plausibly deny the undeniable.”
“He’s (McClellan’s) become a left wing blogger,” Rove says.
“That’s it!” Bush says.
“Yeah!” Rove agrees. “We paint him as a traitor, as disloyal, as a bad American.”
“Yeah! Anybody who’s not with us is against us,” Bush chortles. “We did it to Kerry (former presidential candidate), the no-good sonofabitch!”
“A left wing blogger.”
“Just keep using that title over and over, like when we said weapons of mass destruction over and over in Iraq,” Bush instructs. “The public will eventually buy into it. But don’t call (Ted) Kennedy left wing. He’s sick and some of the bastards like him. If you do, I’ll just deny it.”
“It’s plausible.”
“Yeah.”
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