Columnist – John Sammon
The Swift Boat Veterans, an arch conservative veterans’ group who formerly smeared Democratic presidential candidate and Vietnam Veteran John Kerry by attacking his war record, convene a meeting on how to go after Barack Obama.

Chairman – “Okay, the meeting will come to order.”

“Yeah, let’s get that nigger (Obama).”

Chairman — “Herky! Herky! How many times have I told you not to use the N word?”

“But he is a nigger.”

“I know. I know. But we can’t get rid of the nigger if we don’t change our tactics. Our style. Understand? Easy does it. We don’t want to give Obama anything he can use. So for the purposes of this meeting, he (Obama) will be referred to from now on, as the Illinois darky. Okay?”

“Okay?”

Chairman — “Now, we’re all agreed that we can’t assassinate his war record because he doesn’t have one.”

“Yeah, he’s one of those college niggers.”

Chairman — “Herky?”

“Sorry.”

Chairman — “We’ll smear him because he never served his country. McCain did, and he has God on his side…and us.”

Attendee — “What if he says you don’t have to serve in the military in a democracy, or something like that? That it’s a free country. Or something like that?”

Chairman — “It won’t matter. We can still paint him as a disloyal Arab-lovin’ liberal with an A-rab name (Obama). Free country? Freedom isn’t free. He owes his freedom to me. And this is not a democracy. It’s a republic.”

Herky — “Okay, but what are we gonna do about that bitch (Sarah Palin) McCain picked as his VP?”

Chairman — “Herky. How many times have I told you not to refer to that bitch as a bitch? If we describe her that way and it gets out, it could cost us votes. She’s not a bitch if she’s right-wing. From now on, we’ll just call her the token Hillary.”

Herky — “Okay.”

Chairman — “Okay, moving along, Obama didn’t serve in the military like McCain and that negates his right to be president. He’s too yellow to serve.”

Herky (chuckling, elbowing, the attendee seated next to him) — “Too black to serve. I saw him (Chairman) hide under the mess hall once at Da Nang during a rocket attack. His butt was up in the air. Then later, he filled out the paperwork himself and gave himself a Bronze Star.”

Chairman (admonishing) — “Herky? Are you in this meeting? Will you pay attention?”

Herky — “Sorry.”

Chairman — “Now, we’re also decided to go after Obama because he’s a friend to Al-Qaeda. He’s a communistic liberal who will give away things to minorities and women. It’s hard to be a white man in this country. Ever since Jack Johnson beat Jim Jeffries in a boxing match, we’ve been going down hill. The liberals and their dope smoking, sodomizing, lesbian faggot pals are going to sell this country out. Agreed?

The crowd — “Agreed!”

Chairman — “Okay, let’s get out there on those talk shows and get those emails and literature cranking out there. Let’s send Obama back to the slums back to his own kind.”

Crowd cheers.

“Meeting adjourned!”

Copyright 2008 Sammonsays.

   Swift-Boating John Kerry

REFERENCES:

1. Jet Ski Veterans for Truth! — How to Swiftboat McCain
2.