Columnist - John Sammon
George W. Bush obviously didn’t follow the example of Prince Charles of England, who after he lost favor by treating Lady Diana like a whore, won back public favor when he stood unflinchingly before an angry protester who tried to charge the stage on which he stood.
Bush showed what he’s made of.
Duck Bush, duck!
This is the closest to combat George ever came, the smirking, gloating, parading, former National Guard boy who skipped meetings of the National Guard.
While Bush’s puppet Iraqi ruler stood rock-like, Bush cowered. Run for cover Bush! Hide under the lectern! Crawl on the floor!
That shoe leather is real dangerous.
A disgruntled Arab reporter, evidently upset that Bush killed a million Iraqis and destroyed Iraq over weapons of mass destruction that weren’t there, hurled two shoes at Bush. From now on I christen you ‘George, Two Shoes Bush.‘
You see George, it’s like this. I know you went to Iraq to sell the war and how great it still is, like you’d sell soap. But you threw away a golden chance. You had the opportunity to increase your 28 percent approval rating.
You threw it away. Over shoes.
All you had to do is stand bravely before the shoes like your Iraq puppet ruler did. Better yet, catch the thrown shoe and hurl it back at the bastard like you were a shortstop on the L.A. Dodgers.
But no, you had to duck and cover.
Duck Bush duck! Incoming! Shoes!
Stand up. Face it like a man! What are you afraid of? A sneaker imprint on your pretty face. This does damage to the spin you put out about yourself as the fearless top gun pilot.
If you can’t face a thrown shoe, I would not have you walking point on a patrol in Baghdad. You’re the Commander in Chief. What do you order yourself? Commander in Chief to the rear!
Or better yet. Duck and hide! You could whisper up at the Iraq leader. Has he gone? Has the guy with the shoe left?
What are you, afraid of some possible blood? Scratch? You send hundreds of solders aged 18 out to die all the time. What’s the matter with you?
I suggest you take my CD course ‘How to React Under Stressful Situations,‘ and its companion offerings, ‘Courage Made Easy for Dummies,‘ and ‘You Too Can Appear Brave, Even if You’re Not.‘
The entire CD package is only $69.95 while supplies last. That would be better than ordering my soon-to-be-released Coward’s Kit complete with yellow stripe to pin on your back.
Duck Bush! Run! Hide!
No, this is not the way to show the power and majesty of the United States. Maybe you should have come to the ‘Sell the Iraq War as Great‘ spin press conference dressed in a flak jacket and helmet. Better yet, they could knock out a wall and you could enter the room in a tank, and speak to the group through a tiny slit in the tank (just your eyes visible).
George! George. Your first taste of battle, and you duck, leaving your Iraqi counterpart to take the heat. George! George!.
I’m disappointed in you.
Copyright 2008 Sammonsays.
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The Real WMD’s Unearthed — SHOES!
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