“‘It’s like kind of providential yesterday what happened to me,‘ Palin said. ‘I am reading on my Starbucks mocha cup the quote of the day. You’ll never believe what the quote was! It was Madeleine Albright, former secretary of state and U.N. ambassador, and Madeleine has as her quote of the day for Starbucks – now she said it, I didn’t say it – ‘There is a place in hell reserved for women who don’t support other women.’ OK now, thank you so much for receiving that well, I didn’t know how that was gonna go over. And now California, let’s see what a comment like I just made, let’s see what it will be turned into . . . newspaper.’” — http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2008/10/truthsquadding.html

Whenever I reference Sarah Palin I feel like I’m back in high school writing for the school newspaper, and capturing the immortal words of the grammar-impaired football hero.

When a quotation starts with “It’s like kind of,” you know the person isn’t channeling William Shakespeare. Palin employs these folksy colloquialisms to appeal to Joe-Sixpack and hockey moms.

The next word in the Palin citation is “providential“; Palin rarely makes a speech without pandering to her evangelical base. “Providential is evangelical-speak for “God’s will“.

Palin goes on to say, “I was reading on my Starbucks mocha cup quote of the day“; Palin may not read the New York Times or the Wall Street Journal but you betcha she reads Starbucks cups. Reading a Washington Post editorial is too taxing for Palin, but she is able to digest a quote at a time.

Palin quotes from Madeleine Albright, and she identifies her as the former secretary of state and U.N. ambassador. I’m betting that Palin learned the identity of Albright from a member of her staff

It’s one lousy quote, but Palin manages to mess it up, she substituted “support” for “help“. They may be synonyms, but it is a distinction with a difference. The word “support” conveys the meaning of political support. As a newspaper columnist who is often misquoted, I feel there’s a special place in hell for yahoos who misquote public figures.

Palin is playing the gender card like a virtuoso, she’s implying that women should blindly support her because of her gender. I would hope that men and women would realize that Palin is an empty skirt who is utterly unqualified to be vice-president.

My Palin mention ends with this warning: And now California, let’s see what a comment like I just made, let’s see what it will be turned into. Well Palin, gosh darn it all to heaven, do you like what this liberal hell-bound columnist did with your comment?

I have a headache from deconstructing Palin’s brief quotation; I hope I will never have to parse a long Palin reference.