Columnist – John Sammon
(Disclaimer) The following letter was received from a conservative. After reading it you may draw your own conclusions.

Dear Sir or Woman:

I, Billy Ray Floyd Lee Harvey Billy Bob, being of sound mind, do hereby send this here letter, to this heretofore purpose, to tell traitors, faggots and subversives, that I be a teabag Republican who is mad as hell.

Let’s start with that shoeshine boy in the White House. Ain’t he somethin’? You’d think he don’t know his place. Like his sh..’t don’t stink.
I got a message for him and all those faggots and perverts who when they ain’t takin’ yer money or yer gun away from you, they’s having sodemy sex with one-nother.

IT WAS GUNS AND GOD WHO MADE THIS COUNTRY.

You come after me and I’ll kill ya.’

That shoeshine boy in the White House. He wants to take all my money away from me that I saved by being a patriotic American working at the gas station, and give it to a bunch of pot-smoking yellow-bellies who when they ain’t fornicatin’ havin’ babies illegally, they are findin’ ways to whine and run down the ways of us patriots.

You listen to Rush and he’ll tell you the same thing.

This here country is mine, not yours.

I don’t know why they call it a teabag. Tea is for faggots. I like real American coffee. But somebody must know something to call us teabags, so I’ll go with it.

I’ve learned that when something stands in yer way, you blow its sh.’t away. If a bear comes in my yard, I blow its sh’t away. All bears should be wiped out cause they represent a possible bad thing happenin’ to us humans. Like-wise the A-Rabs. You ever seen an A-Rab that didn’t stink like camel carp (crap)?

I don’tet.

The only good A-Rab is a dead ‘un. Like the Injuns (Native Americans).

We should attack France next. That bunch of faggots.

Ain’t that Hillary somethin’?

What a faggot. She had sex with a mule. Not her husband, that other faggot.

My gun made me who I am. And I ain’t givin’ it up. If you liberal faggots try’n take my gun away by passin’ any laws, I’ll shoot you with an un-registered gun.

Now that there Ronald Reagan. He was good people. I seen him in that there western, Gone with the Wind.

Why do we have this shoeshine boy in the White House? What group a nigge.., I mean people with deep tans, voted him into office? If God had intended coloreds to run things, he would not have made ‘em football players.

When that actor Karleton Heston drowned all them niggers in the Red Sea in that movie (Ten Commandments), he was showin’ ‘em whose boss. God will do that to these liberal faggot traitors, traitors who want everybody to have health care, and have a home here, all them greasy spicks south of the border.

Them wetbacks.

Instead of lettin’ ‘em in to pollute our country with their tacos, they should just install lights at the border and open up on ‘em with high powered rifles when they try to cross.

God made this here country. He gave me my gun, and I’m in his image. I’m sayin’ it agin. You get in my way and I’ll kill ya.’

Yours Sincerely,

Billy Ray Floyd Lee Harvey Billy Bob

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