Columnist – John Sammon
What’s the big deal with this guy, what’s his name, Mark Sanford, the governor of South Carolina?

I never heard of him until he slipped south of the border to cheat on his wife with some Latin Loopy Lu. He was supposed to be the Republican Party’s next JFK? He is good looking, almost as good as me (I’ve got a body like no man ever has).

He looks good in a tux.

C’mon man! We’re supposed to be surprised and shocked that a hypocritical man who talks about morality, who has immense power over the lives of millions of people (even at the state level), who exudes charm and charisma and good looks, and who represents power, should be able to get his hands on a woman.

OUR ENTIRE SYSTEM IS FOUNDED ON CONQUEST AND DISHONESTY!

Get a clue!

He’s only doing to his wife and his Argentine girl friend what we collectively did to the Indians. It’s the American way to lie, cheat and steal.

He’s a true representative of the system and I’m proud of him. That’a'boy Mark! Your long shlong truly reaches across borders.

Besides, the institution of marriage is hypocrisy itself. It should be abolished. Oh, we sign some official papers, and we have a ceremony where I promise to love honor and obey, a man whose unbridled egotism and ambition is to screw, scheme and advance.

Oh we’re married. Isn’t it wonderful!

What a bunch of bull! Make promises to your spouse that even if you intended to keep them, there’s no way you can because you’re a shallow person who has no business getting married to anyone in the first place.

If I was Mark, I would tell the press and the public, I have a right to sleep with anybody I like. What I do in private is none of your F ‘in business, and if you don’t like it, you know what you can do to yourself. What I did to that Argentine woman.

Mark’s wife isn’t completely innocent either. She married him for prestige and money and being the wife of a big shot. Don’t think that women don’t choose a man, any man, for those reasons. Every woman who’s ever been born picks a man whom she thinks is smart and successful, and who has MONEY.

Get a clue!

Oh oh! I’m looking for my dream man. He should be poor, and a loser, and a wimp. I’m looking for a man who’s a pervert and the janitor of a small grade school. I want a man whose lack of career and success I can despise him for.

Mark’s wife is just as big a schemer as he is. But that’s the American way. Rape! Pillage! Win!

Don’t apologize Mark. Don’t cry in front of cameras. I’m going to lose the previous respect I had for you. There you went and did it, and spoiled my day. Here I thought we’d found an All-American boy who would say something like, I’ll stick my thing anywhere I want, even in a pile of rocks if there’s a snake inside.

Like all Republicans, you never served in the military. This could have been your chance to show some courage. Instead, what do we have, a little sniveling worm, crying like he’d been spanked by his mother, because he got caught. Boo hoo!

I’m not sorry for ya.’ I couldn’t cry over something as petty and ridiculous as this.

Mark, I’m disappointed in you.

The Republicans will have to go back to Palin.

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