Columnist – John Sammon
My gun is who I am. Love me. Love my gun. I R a patriot. I live where real Amer-cuns live. I be a member of the Thunderbolt Party. We wear German helmets and we carry the Bible and our guns.

We wear armbands with a thunderbolt on ‘em. Most of us are rural gas station attendants, the working class backbone of the country. Not some bunch of lily-livered limp wrists who like to think.

Love me love my gun.

I’m oiling my gun, waiting fer’ the day when weez’ gonna take back our coun-try.

When I get up in the morning, I thank God he made me a white man, not some socialist jig-a-boo communist co.’k-sucking faggot. Not some left-wing sissy whining momma’s-boy college-educated immigrant bastard.

You mess with me and I’ll kill ya.’ That’s what a Republic should be. Not this here Demo-crappy (Democracy) all them faggots and darkies and the traitors been coming over here to infect it been sayin.’

Love my gun. My gun I keep on the wall in a-place-o honor. I take it off the wall and keep it next to me in my bed. My gun is unregistered. You try to take my gun away an I’ll kill ya.’

I can shoot my own shoes off without nickin’ the skin if I need to, or part the hair on a sparrow at 300 yards.

We’re gonna have us a meetin’ where we talk about how to git back at them communist socialist bastard elected officials who don’t think our way and their immigrant faggot friends. Tryin’ to socialize us and forcing us take health insurance and abortions and such. We learn how to make threatening phone calls to their wives and children.

How to dump nails in their driveway.

Or worse.

If that don’t scare ‘em off, we have other means. We in the Thunderbolt Party.

Love me. Love my gun. Kiss my gun.

Any real man huntz with a gun. Any real American man like Dick Cheney, or that guy who was in the movie where he wuz’ the old Jew-boy with the beard (Charlton Heston as Moses).

Weez’ related to the founders of this country who shot the sh.’t outta the Indians, who made our God the God over ‘em and cleared the land and made it work. And then them foreign traitors come over here and try and take it away. And people of minorities and lesbians who get uppity and don’t know their place start whining and the political sonsofbitches left-wing traitors like Kennedy and Roosevelt suck up to ‘em.

Not me. They can kiss my ass. Love me. Love my gun.

I be a tea-bag right-wing patriot, and I’m proud of it.

I jus love to polish my gun and to hold it in my hands because the day of reckoning iz-a-comin.’

If they keep a-lectin’ them traitor faggots then we in the Thunderbolt Party will meet and think about ways we kin’ take our country back. A country where a white man and woman can walk down the street.

I have my gun. I love my gun.

To arms! To arms! We’re tea baggers, but we ain’t throwin’ no tea this time.

You jus’ watch what we do.

Love me. Love my gun.

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   Columnist – John Sammon
Racists believe that God is a white man who looks like John Wayne.

But is he?

Is God white? In all the art over the centuries, including his representation on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, he is portrayed as white, in the case of Michelangelo’s masterpiece, a grey-bearded, fierce-looking giant floating on a cloud.

If God is truly a Caucasian, then racists and Southern Confederate fundamentalist Christians can take delusional heart thinking that they were created in God’s image, and thus are better than people of color. If you look like God and somebody else doesn’t, you must be better. Feeling better than someone else is important to a racist. Very important.

But is God white?

Adam was white according again to representational art. God created Adam. It follows logic that God would create the first man patterned on what God himself looked like. If God is white, and if God is a man.

It begs the question. If God is white and a man and created Adam in his own image, why did he (God) branch out and create so many other people who look very different ie. Africans, Indians, Eskimos, and so on? There are only two possible possibilities. Either God wanted to create non-God-looking people for his creation so Adam’s descendants could feel superior to them (you don’t look like God, I do). In other words, to promote racism. Or, he was dissatisfied with his look-alike doll, and created other types of people in a desperate attempt to find the right mold.

In that case, people of color could feel superior to whites. God didn’t like you. I’m Plan B.

All of this of course ignores the fact that science has proven that the first walking-upright ape-like creatures originated in the gorges of East Africa eons ago in pre-history. It’s always entertaining to see the reaction of religious zealot fundamentalists to the possibility that God looks like this first ape-like hominid.

That begs another question. Does God have to look like Charlton Heston? Very few people questioned would say that he in fact looks like Tiger Woods. Very few would disagree that God has to look impressive, and powerful. And white. No one has ever portrayed God looking like Woody Allen.

But what about women?

They got a bad rap. First of all, God created Eve for Adam, and then kicked them out of the garden because Eve listened to a snake and picked an apple. I mean, I need to eat something big guy. Excuse me for living.

God made a woman the same color as Adam. No one has ever suggested God created Adam and then gave him a black Eve, a mixed-race union. Adam swinging with a black chick? That would have been way too liberal and progressive for the Old Testament.

If, according to the New Testament, Jesus is the son of God, then God must be a man who looks something like Jesus, according once again to artwork, a pale-skinned, bearded Jewish man of the First Century who must have carried an ad-mixture of black blood in his veins. The Levant-area of that time was a polyglot meeting place of cultures and a mixture bowl of races through tribal interbreeding, trade route swaps and other contacts (exchanging your daughter for a prize goat).

This fact has always been a distinct disappointment to pink-skinned Nazis and Klansmen. To them, God looks better like John Wayne. Somebody you can either be impressed with, or afraid of.

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UPDATE: ‘Macaca’ George Allen’s Campaign To Recapture Virginia Senate Seat in 2012 Begins in Desperation Mode – (Part 1) | (Part 2)
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On August 17, 2006, I wrote an article titled: “Macaca and Terror Politics – America is headed the wrong way!” — in which I chastised George Allen, the former Senator for Virginia, a Republican Presidential hopeful at that time, for calling a student of Indian descent a “Monkey” in coded racist language.

Allen said: “Let’s give a welcome to Macaca, here. Welcome to America and the real world of Virginia………”

It has been reported widely that Northern Virginia Republicans, realizing they need to improve their appeal among the region’s large ethnic population, will stage a “unity” rally next Saturday — to attract ethnic minorities who “represent an increasingly powerful voting bloc.”

Organizers said the annual rally, which has grown in recent years, is particularly significant this year because ethnic minorities represent an increasingly powerful voting bloc that will help decide which presidential candidate, Sen. Barack Obama or Sen. John McCain, wins the state Nov. 4.

George Allen among others is expected to spearhead this GOP “minority reach” event.

LOL!

This is the same man who has in the past:

1.   Led the charge against a holiday for Martin Luther King – a prince of racial peace.

2.   Is a key figure in fueling the rampant anti-immigrant mood in the country today – kick them ALL out (legal & illegal), they are contaminating our culture, taking our jobs, raping our women and introducing new diseases to our beloved motherland.

3.   Had been dogged by numerous allegations of racial insensitivity for years as governor – his record as Governor of the state of Virginia (1994-1998) reeks of racially intolerant acts, including cavorting with white supremacist groups — such as the Council of Conservative Citizens.

4.   Allen has bragged about stuffing a severed deer head into an African American family’s mailbox.

5.   Has a past that includes a vociferous admiration of the Confederate flag (a symbol of racism) and an office that once displayed a noose.

Hey Allen — You are just another filthy bigot — stay in your “RAT HOLE.”

Someone at blacknell.net summed it up hilariously. He/she said:

LOL!

A word of caution to the GOP bigots — If Barack Obama wins this November 4th — it will mark the beginning of a long “layoff in purgatory” for the Republican Party.

An Obama win will signal the beginning of the minority/”young white” vote upswing — as they come of age in large numbers — most of who are less inclined to react favorably to Nativist/Racist Republican fear-mongering and hysteria, as do older white folk.

As these two groups and especially Hispanics grow over the coming years, and as the older “Republican Bigots” die off, America’s population will move toward a “minority majority,” and its political complexion will become more Democratic.

The GOP will have to re-invent itself, for simply appealing to the “bigot vote” will not be enough.

The Latino Factor — Elections ’08