Columnist – John Sammon
I think I can pry open the mind of a conservative so we can all look inside, at what makes ‘em tick, by using myself, and confessing on this website, why it was that for at least 20 years, I was a Republican.
I can tell you because I was one. I now wonder what I must have been thinking to be a member of a party that I currently loathe. All I can say is, I was blind, but also, the party is so much worse today than it was back when I thought I believed in it.
After all, who would have thought, Americans, any Americans, would ever advocate the torture of prisoners and the abandonment of the Geneva Conventions?
The main driving engine behind the thinking of a conservative is fear. Fear that generates anger. Fear of change. Fear of people who look different. Fear of not feeling superior.
A feeling of inferiority is what motivates many ultra-conservatives. The way to not feel inferior, is to feel superior by scapegoating, coming up with people you hate, people with whom you disagree, someone you can blame for all the country’s troubles. This is what allows Republicans to ignore the past eight disastrous years of their own rule, and to blame Obama when he’s only been in office a few months.
At the root of conservatism is its inherent racism against blacks. They’ll deny it. But to them, blacks are simple-minded savages with bones in their noses living in mud huts like they often used to appear in movies and television.
Where would someone get a notion like that?
I learned it early. My father was a rock-ribbed Republican. My situation was different than being the son of a card-carrying, sheet-donning member of the Ku Klux Klan. My father was a reasonable man, at times, but he had the average ingrained racism of his day, of white suburbia, that he in turn had learned as a boy, like millions of others.
This is the kind of benevolent reasonable racism millions of Americans still have.
Back in 1962, my father said that Martin Luther King was “stirring ‘em up” (meaning blacks). He (King) was causing trouble talking about equality under the law.
Another time, Dad, who was a decorated World War Two veteran, was making fun of a black truck driver by recalling that the driver had taken the wrong road and blundered into a front line combat zone in France.
I vividly remember him imitating the black’s childish ignorant way of talking. Quaking with fear supposedly, eyes wide like the stereotypical frightened darkie, the black soldier told my father over and over “dis be not a combat truck, ‘dis not a combat truck.”
In other words, my father was not only mocking his ignorance, but his cowardice as well.
Even if we ignore the fact that millions of black Americans served in World War Two with distinction and were decorated, and many of them killed. They have served in every war. I still wish I had had the courage to look up at my father as a boy and honestly say, “Why should a man risk his life for a country that makes him sit on the back of a bus, or eat at a separate lunch counter?”
I would have faced his scorn and contempt if I had said it. But I didn’t. I laughed with him instead like it (his black imitation) was funny. I thought my father was always right.
That’s how I became a Republican.
But there were societal reasons too.
I went to a school where there were no blacks. Before blacks started causing trouble (according to my father) in the mid 1960s, I might have thought they didn’t even exist. They didn’t on TV, unless they were a butler. All the heroes were white.
The blacks. They kept to their side of town, the bad side.
I absorbed this attitude, which is that blacks by protesting were causing trouble. I will say that I think the late Malcolm X was right, that in the 1960s it was only the protests and confrontations that forced white Americans practicing passive racism to finally take notice of the inequities.
If blacks had been quiet, respectful, a credit to their race as racists used to like to say, nothing would have changed. The wrongs would still exist. After all, Republicans have never sponsored Civil Rights legislation.
Most ultra-conservatives today wish they could turn back the clock.

I remember one conservative recently describing liberals, including blacks and women and what he considered faggots as, “the forces of chaos.”
“Chaos” is important psychologically, because it’s a kind of Freudian slip. Central to the conservative is the feeling that the past, where white men used to run everything, was an ordered, peaceful world, the proverbial good old days that continue as a fantasy myth to live on in memory. This was an ideal world where women were always in the kitchen baking pies, where blacks knew their subservient place and were picking cotton or shining shoes, and where greaser Mexicans were where they belonged, in backward, ignorant, chaotic Mexico.
It is this fantasy vision of small town America in the Norman Rockwell mold, where there are no blacks, no crime, with idealized immaculate two-story houses and neatly trimmed gardens, with a Main Street shaded by stately elms, where everyone devoutly attends the same church on Sunday (some Republicans are sexual perverts), where women know their proper subservient roles, that propels today’s conservatives.
To people who like the status quo past, being on top means resisting change, any change, even if it’s for the better.
Conservatives like to view the world in simple terms. They are almost childlike in their concept of good and evil.
So, how did I fall out of the Republican ranks? It’s my wife’s fault. A liberal, she helped pry open my mind. Because I loved and respected her, I listened to her opinions. Ronald Reagan, whom I had voted for, cheated and shocked me in the Iran Contra scandal. Bush Junior launched a war in Iraq by making up the lie that it had weapons of mass destruction. I knew he was lying. The disappointments continued.
Honesty became important to me.
I also suffered the abuse and scorn of relatives who basically threw me out because of my anti-Iraq stance (I was foolish enough to state my opinion in their presence). Conservatives are not tolerant or open-minded people. They do not respect the rights of others.
I considered this a betrayal. Their treatment of me.
But I learned.
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