Columnist – John Sammon
I call for an immediate attack on Saudi Arabia to take over their oil and to install an American-backed regime in Riyadh friendlier to the United States. It’s been eight whole years, and we haven’t attacked a third country yet. We only attack countries weaker and smaller than ourselves. It was Saudi Arabia remember that supplied the hijackers that carried out 9-11.

Why do we love Saudi Arabia? We hate Moslems. Because of 9-11, we hate all Muslims, even those poor slobs in Indonesia, right?

We could make Saudi Arabia first an exploited colony garrisoned by American troops and ruled by an American viceroy who looks like John Wayne. He could saunter around with a pair of pistols and say to all the turban-heads, get out of my way, Pilgrim!

Eventually, we would annex Saudi Arabia and make it the 51st state in the union.

We would call it, Saudi America.

We would flood the country with right wing duck hunters from Minnesota who still believe in Dick Cheney, and white power skin heads with confederate flags on their trucks from the Deep South. They would take to it because Saudi Arabia, (excuse me), Saudi America, is a sandy, ugly, God-forsaken country just like Texas, home for the rednecks. The new arrivals would establish grease-laden junk fast food takeout shops, tequila growing farms, tattoo parlors, condom dispensers, factories that make specially designed lingerie for transvestite congressmen, motorcycle parts stores, laminated fruit used as sex aids, DVD adult movie rental outlets, and back-yard cottage industries making affordable reproduction World War 2 German helmets for Republican tea-baggers complete with swastikas.

We could build the very first adult-and-selected-minors-only X-rated Disney theme park and call it Stud Mickey on the Dunes (as in Mickey Mouse with a huge phallus riding a dune buggy across the Saudi sands). The center piece of the park would be the largest reality roller coaster in the world, specifically built to eject randomly chosen senselessly singled out certain unsuspecting riders engaged in the act of intercourse at high speed headfirst into a tiled lagoon, the possibility of potential un-rehearsed home movie-style entertainment to be televised for the cruel enjoyment of ignorant and easily impressed visitors, and those who enjoy listening to Sarah Palin.

This could all be funded by raising the price of gasoline.

Think what we could do with that oil money. We could turn Mecca into a glittering casino city to rival Las Vegas or even Branson Missouri with Arabic symbols on the slot machines to help fleece native sucker common-as-dirt potential slaves and hook them hopelessly on gambling, diverting them from their current occupations, sheep herding and wife beating.

A new industry, the sales of genetically-engineered gnats, would be developed, as hotter global warming sand dunes are prefect breeding grounds for the pesky insects. A rapidly multiplying growth bio-organic type of farming, gnats would be exported from Saudi America all over the world as a way to, after introducing them into the mouth, cleaning (by the insects eating away) decaying food between the teeth, eliminating the need for floss. A black market illegal trade could also be set up to infest the homes and cars of ex-wives and disagreeable bosses, the product to be titled, “Revenge with a Buzz.” We could hire Glenn Beck as a spokesman.

A special tax will be set up levied on the families of American serial killers back home based on household income to fund the first non-interrupted, elevated freeway running from the coast of Florida to the new state of Saudi America. This will allow the free movement between continents of hordes of Social Security grabbing, leech-like-freebie-sucking salary-less elderly retired loafers, who think the world owes them for the simple act of living, a bunch of non-contributing, seasonal immigrant vagabonds who will flock to a newly-constructed upscale gated condominium development along the Red Sea to be titled, Moses Slept Here, Phase One.

The Saudi royal family will be moved out and given property in the fashionable Hamptons of New York State, and posh flats in London, the only things they ever really wanted in the first place. They can thus be rich and drive Rolls Royces and pretend they are successful Englishmen wearing robes.

The surrounding ocean would be denuded of all its sea life by over-fishing and the All-Sex Porno Channel cable TV station introduced all across the country to take the place of the native religion, which will be abolished. Every citizen who currently practices any form of religion including Islam, Catholic and Mormon, will be required to convert instead to the selling of Mary Kay Cosmetics, a religion all its own.

Solar powered computerized micro chip mechanical camels will be created to run on the world’s first water-gravity-flow-fed pneumatic tube monorail system, the water to be shipped by means of a specially constructed overhead pipeline from the Central Valley of California as that state totally falls apart and no longer needs it. Governor Arnold will attempt to avoid presiding over the California debacle and will seek office in Saudi America, but will be stripped of steroids and escorted to the border where he will be told to go visit long-neglected relatives in Austria who highly doubt his even minimal acting ability.

Arnold will find it hard not to put on one of the cottage industry teabag reproduction German helmets.

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“President Hugo Chavez will keep donating heating oil for poor American families in a costly decision that suggests the Venezuelan leader wants to keep to his pledges-and buttress his image-in spite of falling oil prices.

Venezuela’s Citgo Petroleum Corp. announced the aid program would continue on Wednesday, just two days after its partner nonprofit group, Boston-based Citizens Energy, said Citgo had halted the free fuel shipments due to the world economic crisis.

‘Chavez decided that it was a mistake,‘ said Larry Birns, director of the Washington-based Council on Hemispheric Affairs. He said Citgo officials probably recommended the cost-saving measure to Chavez in the first place, but the impact may not have sunk in until the president saw the reaction.” — The Associated Press

President George W. Bush’s response to the death and devastation wreaked by Hurricane Katrina, was to do a quick photop flyby at 25,000 feet. Meanwhile on the ground death and chaos ruled under the inept leadership of FEMA Director Michael Brown. Nevertheless the equally clueless Dubya complimented Brown with his now infamous words: Brownie, you’re doing a heck of a job.

A few years ago when Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez heard that poor Americans were freezing in the winter because they couldn’t afford heating oil, he did something about it. Chavez launched a program to donate free heating oil for low-income Americans, a remarkable gesture considering that Bush is his implacable foe.

Chavez, God bless his soul, has decided to continue this program in spite of the falling crude oil prices. I wish we had politicians in this country who would stick to their word, even if it costs them millions of dollars.

Some American critics of Chavez argue that he is only trying to make Bush look bad, but according to the AP article:

“Venezuela also ships fuel under highly favorable lending terms to countries across the Caribbean and Central America. Oil Minister Rafael Ramirez says that program, called Petrocaribe, will continue.”

Chavez is a statesman and he is more Christ-like than most Christians, he ministers to the poor wherever they may be found. Viva Hugo Chavez.

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Hugo Chavez Calls Bush — ‘A Donkey,’ ‘A Drunk,’ ‘An Immoral Mr. Danger,’
‘A Genocist,’ ‘An Alcoholic,’ ‘A Coward,’ ‘A Liar and A Sick Man,’ …..’

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By Robert N. Taylor

There were a lot of upset people recently when the number two man in the radical Islamic and terrorist group Al Qaeda accused President-elect Barack Obama of being a ‘house Negro‘ for supporting the extremely pro-Israel U.S. policy in the Middle East. By borrowing a phrase made popular by 1960s militant Malcolm X, Ayman al-Zawahiri was essentially accusing Obama of being a Black man who carries out the will of the white man.

Al-Zawahiri obviously does not have a clear understanding of U.S. history. Nevertheless, his verbal blast against Obama does bring to light a key point: For roughly 40 years, various Washington administrations have supposedly been trying to bring peace to the Middle East and we are no closer to peace today than we were 40 years ago.

Why?

First of all, U.S. ‘peace‘ efforts have been so one-sidedly pro-Israel that the vast majority of Palestinians and Arabs find them insulting and degrading. The U.S. has never been an honest peace broker in the Middle East. Instead, it has basically pursued policies primarily aimed at ensuring Israeli military dominance in the region.

Secondly, U.S. policy has always attempted to elevate a secondary problem to primary status and thus avoid addressing the fundamental issue causing instability and violence between the Israelis and the Palestinians. Essentially, Israel and the U.S. (aided by a pro-Israel American media) have successfully but falsely portrayed the fundamental problem in the Middle East as terrorism — Palestinian violence against Israel.

But this is not true. The fundamental source of instability in the Middle East is Israel’s continuing occupation of Palestinian lands. Not only does Israel occupy the lands of Palestinians, it brazenly places Jewish settlements on the land. It is when the Palestinians continually see their homes destroyed and they lands occupied that they turn to acts of violence which we label terrorism.

If Barack Obama truly wants to bring peace to the Middle East, he must not only stop Israel from putting Jewish settlements on Palestinian lands, he must actually get them to give up most of the lands they have already taken. This will be a monumental task. Further, while talking about change in other aspects of American policy, Obama has fundamentally endorsed the failed Middle East policy of the last 40 years.

However, if he does not undertake the task of true change, he will indeed be doing little more than carrying out the will of the neo-conservative white men who have dominated U.S. Middle East policy for the last 40 years. It is a policy which is fundamentally unjust, unfair, racist and cannot possibly lead to peace.

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The price of oil is no longer an important determinant of the economic health of the West. To create the same amount of economic output, manufacturers use much less oil than they used to.

Moreover, today, there are futures contracts, which allow one to fix the price of purchased oil well in advance. There are options contracts which can be used to limit one’s risks as a result of trading in such futures contracts.

So, why is the price of oil going through the roof?

Because oil has become a form of investment and a hedge against rising inflation. People plough their savings into oil and speculators drive the markets. As Saudi Arabia correctly observes, the price of oil is no longer determined merely by supply and demand.

Who decides on the domestic price of oil and its derivatives?

In some countries, prices are fixed entirely by market forces, supply and demand, usually through specialized exchanges (e.g., the Rotterdam Exchange). The market is completely deregulated: exports and imports are totally allowed and free.

In other countries, prices are fixed by a committee of representatives of the government, the oil industry, the biggest consumers of oil, and representatives of households and agricultural consumers.

In most countries, prices are changed every 3 or 6 months based on the cost of oil at a certain port of delivery. In Israel, for instance, the price of oil fluctuates every three months according to the price of oil delivered in certain Italian ports (where Israel gets most of its oil delivered). This is an AUTOMATIC adjustment.

In a few countries the prices are fixed by the competent Ministry in accordance to the ACTUAL costs of the oil (importing, processing and distribution) + a fixed percentage (usually 15%). This is called a COST PLUS basis pricing method.

The international price of oil is determined by the following factors:

1.. The weather. Cold weather increases consumption. The world is getting hotter. The 14 hottest years in history have been in the last 25 years. The warmer the climate – the less oil is consumed for heating, but the more oil is consumed for air conditioning.

2.. Economic growth – The stronger the growth, the more oil is consumed (mostly for industrial purposes). The incredible economic development of countries like China and India and the emergence of car-owning middle classes in many developing countries enhanced demand and contributed to the current crisis.

3.. Wars increase oil consumption by all parties involved.

4.. Oil exploration budgets are growing and new contracts have just been signed in the Gulf area (including Iraq), Brazil, and Canada. The more exploration, the more reserves are discovered and exploited, thereby increasing the supply side of the oil equation.

5.. Lifting of sanctions on Iraq, Iran and Libya will increase the supply of oil.

6.. Oil reserves throughout the world are low. This tends to enhance demand for newly produced oil.

7.. When there is an economic crisis in certain oil producers (Russia, Nigeria, Venezuela, Iraq) it forces them to sell oil cheaply, sometimes in defiance of the OPEC quotas. This was the case in the late 1990s.

8.. OPEC agreements to restrict or increase output and support price levels should be closely scrutinized. OPEC is not reliable and its members are notorious for reneging on their obligations. Moreover, OPEC members represent less than half the oil produced globally. Their influence is limited.

9.. Ecological concerns and economic considerations lead to the development of alternative fuels and the enhanced consumption of LNG (gas) and coal, at oil’s expense. Even nuclear energy is reviving as does solar energy.

10.. New oil exploration technology and productivity gains allow producers to turn a profit even on cheaper oil. So, they are not likely to refrain from extracting and selling oil even if its price declines to 5 US dollars a barrel.

11.. Privatization and deregulation of oil industries (mainly in Latin America and, much more hesitantly, in the Gulf) increases supply. Recent moves in countries like Venezuela, Russia, and Bolivia to re-nationalize their oil industries and unrest in countries like Nigeria raise global oil prices owing to uncertainty and increased political risk.

12.. Price volatility induced by hedge funds and other derivatives has increased lately. But, as opposed to common opinion, financial players have no preference which way he price goes, so they are NEUTRAL.

By — Derek Kravitz

From head to toe, every piece of clothing worn by Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, the Republican vice-presidential nominee, has been picked at and prodded, from her rim-less $375 Kawasaki glasses to her red open-toed Naughty Monkey-brand shoes.

But scrutiny of her fashion sense reached to a new level after Politico reported yesterday that the Republican National Committee spent some $150,000 on high-end clothes and accessories for Palin and her family.

The expenditures, listed in a monthly financial disclosure filing with the Federal Elections Commission, included bills from Saks Fifth Avenue in St. Louis and New York for $49,425.74 and a $75,062.63 tab at a Neiman Marcus store in Minneapolis.

(The pricey clothes didn’t impress The Post’s Robin Givhan, who wrote in her “On Culture” column last month that Palin’s style was “exceptionally ordinary…Her clothes are unpretentious, but they are also unremarkable.” Givhan now calls the spending “plain stupid.“) — [MORE]

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Sarah Palin spent more on clothes in one day than Joe the Plumber earns in 3+ years — does this make her a simple small town girl,…a middle class hockey mom? NOPE! Far from it. She his just another wicked Republican hypocrite…..a GOON!

Republican politicians — the custodians of sexual morality, friends of GOD, protectors of peasants and plumbers of “small-town” America.

….Hilarious!!!!

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   ….. And here is the “Exotic Celebrity Elitist“

   [Enlarge]

So, who’s more in touch with the average Joe?

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Olbermann’s Take — McCain’s Clumsy Hypocrisy

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Jon Stewart’s Take on Republican Hypocrisy

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Special Read: 41 Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today
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