Columnist – John Sammon
Eight of the top Republican strategists are gathered in the 45th floor office of a skyscraper in New York to discuss how to recoup their recent losses and how to deal with Obama. Those gathered include Mike, Mary, Cesar, Neil, Scooter, Tad and Frank, and also Herky, a stalwart since the Watergate Days, and also a Swift Boat veteran. Not present is the party’s new hope, a governor of Louisiana, a young man of East Indian descent.

“Okay, what are we gonna do?”

“An interesting question. Who would have thought the black bastard (Obama) would get that socialistic spending plan past us?”

“The Democrats are big spenders.”

“Herky, if I wanted information like that, I could go to a county fair and put a quarter in a fortune telling machine. Now if you can’t do any better, some of us may determine that your $240,000 salary is overblown.”

“You can’t talk to me like that, I was in Vietnam. What’s more, I don’t like this new guy you picked to send against the nigger. Sabu!”

“Herky, how many times have I told you not to use the N word? And not to call our new hair apparent Sabu. His name is Bobby. Sabu is demeaning and inappropriate.”

“It is, why? I could have called him a nigger too. You don’t like niggers.”

“I know. But none of us here are old enough to remember Sabu, except you.”

“Who was Sabu?” Tad asks.

“Some Indian kid in a sarong who ran around in jungle movies in the 1930s.”

“But don’t you think it’s rather obvious?” Mary works up her nerve and dares to ask.

“Does Mary have something to add?” Mike says insultingly.

“Well, yes. I mean, they elect the first black president, and then just like that, we come forward with our own person of color to try and mimic what they did. I mean, isn’t it kind of an obvious ploy? I mean, it didn’t work when McCain picked a woman running mate to try and get women to vote for him.”

“Mary, Mary, Mary,” Mike says sadly, as if dismissing her intelligence. “You know. Strategy, developing strategy in sessions like this, isn’t for everyone. The only reason you’re here is that if the transcript of this meeting should ever become public, we can say we had a woman involved, to try and please those feminist bitches out there. Now, why don’t you go get us some coffee, huh?”

Mary hurries off.

“Now, where were we? Oh yes, Sabu, I mean Bobby.”

“I think we have to come up with a smear against him (Obama).”

“It’s not easy.”

“Yeah, right now he’s too popular. He doesn’t seem to have any weakness we can exploit. But there’ll be something. Maybe one of his pals will screw up.”

“Either that, or we can hope the country goes down the drain.”

“You mean, hope the American people suffer so we can make political gains?”

“Some times, that’s what it takes. We have to re-educate the American people about our core values, and if they’re not willing to listen, maybe if the whole thing goes to hell in a hand basket, they’ll be ready to listen. Maybe if they suffer that will be good for ‘em. They’ll turn to us eventually, like they did in the past.”

“Yeah, but we haven’t got a Ronald Reagan to offer ‘em, only Sa..(Starts to say Sabu)..I mean, Bobby. He doesn’t look like Reagan, and when he talks, I can’t figure him out.”

“You think I like this guy? Reagan was a man’s man. This guy! When I see this guy, I see a turban on his head and a jewel between his eyes. But you go with what works. If dark skins are suddenly in vogue, you find yourself a dark skin of your own.”

“Yeah, McCain was so white he glowed in the dark.” Scooter laughs at his own joke, but nobody else does.

“Scooter. You need this job. You’re only here because of your past service and as a favor to dub-ya.”

“Sorry.”

“Now, where we?”

“Hoping the country collapses so we can blame it on Obama.”

“Yes. Well. I think it’s understood. Time is on our side. The farther away we get from last November, the better. We just need to keep up the pressure. Every time something goes wrong. Our best chance right now are the appointments. Obama appoints somebody and then we find a skeleton in the guy’s closet. We embarrass Obama.”

“That’s hard because he admits mistakes.”

“Yeah I agree. Honesty can be a problem. We haven’t had to deal with that before. But don’t worry, we’ll come up with something. Where’s Mary with that coffee?”

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I watched last Saturday’s “forum on faith” at the Saddleback Church in California, hosted Rev. Rick Warren, and it was pretty obvious that McCain, who was questioned after Obama had an unfair advantage.

McCain got some notice that Obama did not.

NBC political reporter Andrea Mitchell reported Sunday that Obama aides thought McCain “may have had some ability to overhear what the questions were to Obama.”

She was right.

A Republican pastor plus his “God-Smooching” crowd…..Please!

The so-called evangelicals follow some of the most racist and bigoted Ministers (pastors) in the United States, who freely advocate American wars based on Biblical mandates, rant hatefully against Islam, and argue that natural disasters occur because God hates gay people.

Pastor Warren might not utter the same, but he and his congregants belong to the same cesspool — a snake pit of the most racist vipers in America, who have and continue to use Religion (Christianity) to persecute others who do not think like them.

The entire Republican establishment is permitted actively to lavish them with praise and court their support without the slightest backlash or controversy.

To me, Religion is a disease, an affliction that is the catalyst of 90% of the world’s problems.

Comedian Bill Maher says: “Religion as brain disease,” “Christians have neurological disorder,” ……”I think religion is a neurological disorder…. When you were a kid and they were telling you whatever you believe in religion, do you think if they had switched the fairy tales that they read to you in bed with the Bible, you would know the difference? Do you think if it was the fairy tale about a man who lived inside of a whale and it was religion that Jack built a beanstalk today, you would know the difference? Why do you believe in one fairy tale and not the other? Just because adults told you it was true and they scared you into believing it, at pain of death, at pain of burning in hell.

My friend at afriqueonline.com says: God doesn’t exist. He never did . . . he never will. Wake up . . . grow up . . . and get over it! Religion is a fairy tale for adults, a scam run by priests, ministers, rabbis, nuns, witch doctors, bishops and popes so that suckers will pay for their big houses, fine clothes and BMW’s. As scary as it might sound, you alone are responsible for what happens in your life, not some imaginary spook living in a paradise in the sky . . . not some evil goblin living underground in a fiery pit . . . You!….[read more]

I agree with both, and it pains me to admit that my own dear mother is hooked to Religion like a junkie on crack-cocaine.

I rejected Religion (All Religion) at the age of five. At first my mom could drag me to church by force, but when I got bigger later in my teen years and she got older, the best she could do was scream at me (poor mama).

But don’t get me wrong — she is the best human being on earth and so are many other evangelicals — those who are not bent in shoving religion down my throat.

My early rejection of religion has not prevented me from knowing what’s right and what’s wrong — several decades later.

Now, back to ReTHUGlican McCain.

The New York Times and so many others reported that John McCain was not sitting in what Pastor Rick Warren referred to as “the cone of silence” while Barack Obama was questioned during Saturday night’s Saddleback Civil Forum on the Presidency.

McCain staffers told journalists that the Republican candidate was in a motorcade on his way to the church when Obama was on stage, but heard none of the questions.

Several times the pastor allowed McCain to “Stump” as if in a town-hall meeting, a luxury that was not accorded Mr. Obama.

After this charade, as usual, blood-sucking right-wing snakes(pundits) rushed out to toast McCain’s victory over Obama.

Rick Warren is just another lying and conniving “give GOD 10% of your wealth” pastor. I bet you he discussed every question with McCain before conducting the forum.

That had to be the case — judging from how relaxed the bumbling McCain was on Saturday.

This was a setup!

God’s Profits: Faith, Fraud, and the Republican Crusade for Values Voters

Special Comment on McCain: Olbermann chastises McCain: Grow up!
Senator is acting like a child, needs immediate attitude adjustment